We are having a very crappy Christmas break. We wanted to go stay in the mountains and play in the snow, but we are stuck at home because of several reasons. Sibley has Whooping Cough and you started coughing really loud today, so I'm afraid you may have it too. Skyler is puking her guts out today. Your dad sprained his ankle early this week. I have a really bad cold, not to mention all my usual issues like bone and tooth pain. Despite all this, you are still making us laugh...You keep saying, "It's not your fault." You have no idea what it means. You were out back turning the hose on and Sibley went back there and tried to get it away from you. You, of course, wouldn't give it up, so y'all got locked into a game of tug-of-war and you were yelling at her, saying "It's not your fault! It's not your fault!".
Also, on Christmas night we rented the movie "Brave." You got so worried when Merida turned her mother into a bear. You were so worried that I might get turned into a bear. Every few minutes you would come over to where I was laying on the floor and hug me, just to make sure I hadn't turned into a bear.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
This is one of crafty Sibley's latest creations. She is so talented and this year she has been decorating with these very intricate snowflakes. She also helped me make Christmas treats tonight. We made cupcakes for her class party tomorrow. She crushed some candy canes and sprinkled the dust over the cupcakes. We also made some fudge and she sprinkled candy cane dust over the fudge too.
The fudge recipe is so quick and easy. I wish I would have known about it 20 years ago! I will never make the old marshmallow creme fudge again! Here's the recipe so that I have it next time I need it. And if any of y'all are looking for a quick, easy fudge recipe, you really should try this one. I was surprised when I tasted it because it really does taste just as good as the painstakingly difficult-to-make fudge.
Ingredients:
1 package (12 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
1 t. vanilla
Directions:
Line a pan with wax paper. Melt ingredients in saucepan and stir until smooth. Pour into prepared pan and refrigerate for 2 hours.
The fudge recipe is so quick and easy. I wish I would have known about it 20 years ago! I will never make the old marshmallow creme fudge again! Here's the recipe so that I have it next time I need it. And if any of y'all are looking for a quick, easy fudge recipe, you really should try this one. I was surprised when I tasted it because it really does taste just as good as the painstakingly difficult-to-make fudge.
Ingredients:
1 package (12 oz.) semisweet chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
1 t. vanilla
Directions:
A Family History Tender Mercy
When Daddy was here for Thanksgiving, he saw this old gray jug. (See picture.) I had bought it as a graduation gift for myself when I graduated from college in May of 2001. I fell in love with it the minute I saw it. I love antiques, or anything to do with history. I especially love simple, utilitarian things like jugs. Anyway, I like to think about who made it, who held it, and what they were doing at the time. It didn't have a maker's mark, or so I thought. I looked for one on the bottom, but the bottom has several spots of tar on it, which made me love it that much more because obviously somebody used it when they were tarring a roof or a road. So if there ever was a maker's mark, it would have been covered by tar anyway. It did have this weird little divet, that I thought was a mistake, on the handle.
So, anyway, Daddy saw it and immediately recognized the divet. The divet was the maker's mark! And the maker is my ancestral cousin John Enslen Pylant, a renowned potter who worked principally at the Mulder Pottery on Jug Factory Road. (One of my best friends, Farrah, lived on Jug Factory Road and I had always wondered about the old jug factory.)
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Someone in my CVID Support Group shared this yesterday and I found it was very applicable to my life:
A SAMPLE OF MY LIFE
The things I once enjoyed are now collecting dust.
I used to be a strong parent and spouse.
The pain is invisible to others but intense and real for me.
There is no cure, only painful treatment.
I try hiding the pain and discomfort from my family.
One moment I'm feeling good and within a blink I have no energy.
It shouldn't hurt to put Legos together with my child or hugging my spouse.
I hide the tears of not knowing what's coming.
How do I make plans without knowing what tomorrow will bring.
Simple things like a hot shower, a back rub or music can make Me forget...for a moment.
I try and make the most of today, to leave memories of smiles for those that cared for Me.
I feel guilty to my family for having this disease.
I'm not ready to collect dust...
I'm having a bad CVID day. I have to go get two more root canals today, which makes six. Then I have to go to my Urologist because both of my kidneys are infected, even though I have been on Bactrim for two months and on Cipro for two months before that. Mostly, I'm pissed off about how expensive this disease is, especially the dental work. And the constant doctors visit copays and excessive prescriptions aren't easy on the wallet either. But it's not like I can just elect not to have the work done! They're my teeth and they get so infected that the pain is unbearable! Grrrrrrrr!
The things I once enjoyed are now collecting dust.
I used to be a strong parent and spouse.
The pain is invisible to others but intense and real for me.
There is no cure, only painful treatment.
I try hiding the pain and discomfort from my family.
One moment I'm feeling good and within a blink I have no energy.
It shouldn't hurt to put Legos together with my child or hugging my spouse.
I hide the tears of not knowing what's coming.
How do I make plans without knowing what tomorrow will bring.
Simple things like a hot shower, a back rub or music can make Me forget...for a moment.
I try and make the most of today, to leave memories of smiles for those that cared for Me.
I feel guilty to my family for having this disease.
I'm not ready to collect dust...
I'm having a bad CVID day. I have to go get two more root canals today, which makes six. Then I have to go to my Urologist because both of my kidneys are infected, even though I have been on Bactrim for two months and on Cipro for two months before that. Mostly, I'm pissed off about how expensive this disease is, especially the dental work. And the constant doctors visit copays and excessive prescriptions aren't easy on the wallet either. But it's not like I can just elect not to have the work done! They're my teeth and they get so infected that the pain is unbearable! Grrrrrrrr!
Dear Sadie,
You were jumping on the couch late Saturday night and you were yelling, "Jumping-Jumping-Jumping," and all of the sudden I heard a huge crash and there you were sprawled out on the floor. Your forehead hit right on the phone charger and immediately swelled up. I've never seen anybody swell that fast and I had never heard you scream like that, so I freaked out. I woke Bryant up and he tried to ice it, but you were of course fighting him tooth and nail. So I insisted on taking you to the Emergency Room.
I carried you to the hospital and they looked at your eyes to make sure you didn't have a concusion, and I felt better after that. No more Sadies jumping on the couch!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Dear Sadie,
You are now using correct pronouns. For example, you just pointed to Daddy and said, "His hair is black." This sort of makes me sad.
Your favorite game is Hide and Seek. You would play it all day everyday if you had someone to play it with. Your favorite game partner is your daddy. He's everybody's favorite game partner, for that matter. You don't exactly understand the premise of the game, but you have lots of fun and that's what counts. (You sometimes like to yell out your location.)
You have started changing your clothes multiple times everyday. And you insist on picking out your own clothes. Today I walked by your room and there was a disorganized heap of clothes on the floor from where you obviously threw the clothes out of your drawers yesterday when searching for just the right outfit. Tonight for your pajamas you decided to go with a purple skirt and polka dot shirt. Whatever. And so it begins....
You have been sleeping in the double bed in your room this week. We made your bed into a toddler bed, but that was still way too small for you because you are a crazy sleeper. We surround you with pillows and you sleep much better with all the extra room on the double bed.
You have an imaginary friend named Anga. You keep singing, "Anga, Anga, she's my fwiend!".
You have been behaving like a hooligan lately. I really hope it is just a temporary phase because you are cutting yet another molar. (I don't remember my other girls cutting all these teeth.) You call people "bwat" and you always say "You're gisgusting!". You're extra mean to Sibley and Mama Kitty for some reason.
You loooooove Dora and Diego. You also still love Minnie Mouse. We really want to take you to Disneyland.
You love to flip your hair forward. And everyday you ask to have your hair in a side ponytail "like Skyler's." But that only lasts a few minutes because you normally refuse barretts, bows, rubber bands and all other types of hair apparatus.
Your favorite game is Hide and Seek. You would play it all day everyday if you had someone to play it with. Your favorite game partner is your daddy. He's everybody's favorite game partner, for that matter. You don't exactly understand the premise of the game, but you have lots of fun and that's what counts. (You sometimes like to yell out your location.)
You have been sleeping in the double bed in your room this week. We made your bed into a toddler bed, but that was still way too small for you because you are a crazy sleeper. We surround you with pillows and you sleep much better with all the extra room on the double bed.
You have an imaginary friend named Anga. You keep singing, "Anga, Anga, she's my fwiend!".
You have been behaving like a hooligan lately. I really hope it is just a temporary phase because you are cutting yet another molar. (I don't remember my other girls cutting all these teeth.) You call people "bwat" and you always say "You're gisgusting!". You're extra mean to Sibley and Mama Kitty for some reason.
You loooooove Dora and Diego. You also still love Minnie Mouse. We really want to take you to Disneyland.
You love to flip your hair forward. And everyday you ask to have your hair in a side ponytail "like Skyler's." But that only lasts a few minutes because you normally refuse barretts, bows, rubber bands and all other types of hair apparatus.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
My gall bladder is outta there! Woohoo!
Sibley's Christmas Concert
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Dear Sadie,
Tonight you told your daddy he was your "fecial hero." It melted his heart.
Then, a few minutes later you asked him to play hide and seek with you, and he told you he couldn't do it right then, and you looked at me and said, "Him not my fecial hero."
Then, a few minutes later you asked him to play hide and seek with you, and he told you he couldn't do it right then, and you looked at me and said, "Him not my fecial hero."
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Church News article about daddy...
Latter-day Saint judge hopes to make positive impact in Alabama
He pays attention to the stewardship, not the honor
WETUMPKA, ALA.
John E. Enslen, a Latter-day Saint, will soon take judicial office, having been elected to the office of Probate Judge for Elmore County, Ala., winning all 28 precincts and receiving 67 percent of the vote against a formidable opponent in the primary election last March. A Republican with no Democratic opponent in the November general election, he will take office in January. He is believed to be the first Latter-day Saint elected to a judgeship in Alabama.
A county probate judge in Alabama exercises original jurisdiction without monetary limitation over cases involving estates, conservatorships, guardianships, commitments, adoptions, legitimations, municipal annexations and condemnations.
During his last 10 years of law practice, he won 13 of 14 cases he argued in the appellate courts of Alabama.
Brother Enslen and his wife of 43 years, Dianne, had never met a Latter-day Saint until after he had graduated from law school at the University of Alabama in 1972. He was serving as a first lieutenant in the U.S. Army at Ft. Benjamin Harrison in Indiana during the Vietnam War when he and Dianne met an LDS couple.
A native of Hartwell, Ga., Sister Enslen, said, "We will forever be grateful to Lee and Ilene Barney of Oregon for sending a referral to President Spencer H. Osborn of the Alabama-Florida Mission in Tallahassee, Fla."
In 1973, the Enslens became the first converts to the Church living in his hometown of Wetumpka, Ala., home to seven generations of his family. By late 1974, there were enough members in the Wetumpka area to form a branch. Brother Enslen served as branch president from 1976 to 1978, the year he was called to serve as a counselor in the Montgomery Alabama Stake presidency. He was called as president of the stake in 1986.
After he was released as stake president in 1994, he served the next 12 years as a counselor to four presidents of the Alabama Birmingham Mission: Eldon McKell, Perry Webb, Jerry Peterson and Douglas Johnson.
Brother and Sister Enslen served as senior missionaries in Cambodia from 2007-2008. With the assistance of four young elders and the sustaining support of mission president Robert W. Winegar, they opened a new branch of the Church in Siem Reap, Cambodia, with Brother Enslen serving as the branch president.
A subsequent tour of missionary service, 2009-2010, fit well with Brother Enslen's avid journal-keeping propensities. He has not missed a day of making journal entries since beginning a personal journal on Aug. 18, 1976. He and Sister Enslen labored in the newly opened Church History Library in Salt Lake City, taking oral histories from emeritus General Authorities and others. He serves on the stake high council and Sister Enslen is a counselor in the stake Relief Society presidency.
"I am a total newcomer to politics," Brother Enslen said. "I decided to seek the office about a year prior to the primary election. I had serious concerns about our nation's future and simply wanted to make my little contribution where I felt I was best qualified to serve in our government.
"From the outset, I did not know what the Lord might have in store for me, but I did feel after prayerful consideration that I should seek the office. There was certainly no guarantee with respect to the outcome, and I actually feared that the Lord's purpose might be to give me a valuable lesson in humility. So, before actually undertaking my very first political venture as a candidate, I asked myself how I would feel about losing, despite my personal belief that I would be the most qualified candidate in the race. I came to the conclusion that if I were called upon to lose a political election primarily because I was an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, then I would count the defeat as one of the highest honors in my life. Thus, Dianne and I pressed on into the unknown."
He said his personal choice of religion spontaneously surfaced as an issue with regularity.
"For better or for worse, that's just the way it is in the South. I was regularly asked questions by individual voters: 'What church do you attend?' 'Are you a Christian?' 'What are your religious beliefs?'
"My intentional compound-sentence answer usually went something like this: 'I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am so grateful for the amazing grace of Jesus Christ who has provided me with my only opportunity to be cleansed from my sins so that I can return to live with my Heavenly Father.' That answer, which to the best of my knowledge does not compromise or dilute our canonized beliefs, seemed to satisfy almost everyone who asked a direct question about my religion.
"A high percentage of the voters already knew that I was a Mormon. It is my firm belief that familiarity with Latter-day Saints on a personal level reduces the prejudices resulting from decades upon decades of misinformation. Because so many people knew me well, they could not be persuaded with claims that seemed totally illogical to them."
Preparing to take office in January, Brother Enslen said, "Now that Alabama has its first LDS judge, I feel there is a heavy responsibility to make sure that I pay exclusive attention to the stewardship and not the honor."
— Gerry Avant
John E. Enslen, a Latter-day Saint, will soon take judicial office, having been elected to the office of Probate Judge for Elmore County, Ala., winning all 28 precincts and receiving 67 percent of the vote against a formidable opponent in the primary election last March. A Republican with no Democratic opponent in the November general election, he will take office in January. He is believed to be the first Latter-day Saint elected to a judgeship in Alabama.
A county probate judge in Alabama exercises original jurisdiction without monetary limitation over cases involving estates, conservatorships, guardianships, commitments, adoptions, legitimations, municipal annexations and condemnations.
During his last 10 years of law practice, he won 13 of 14 cases he argued in the appellate courts of Alabama.
Brother Enslen and his wife of 43 years, Dianne, had never met a Latter-day Saint until after he had graduated from law school at the University of Alabama in 1972. He was serving as a first lieutenant in the U.S. Army at Ft. Benjamin Harrison in Indiana during the Vietnam War when he and Dianne met an LDS couple.
A native of Hartwell, Ga., Sister Enslen, said, "We will forever be grateful to Lee and Ilene Barney of Oregon for sending a referral to President Spencer H. Osborn of the Alabama-Florida Mission in Tallahassee, Fla."
In 1973, the Enslens became the first converts to the Church living in his hometown of Wetumpka, Ala., home to seven generations of his family. By late 1974, there were enough members in the Wetumpka area to form a branch. Brother Enslen served as branch president from 1976 to 1978, the year he was called to serve as a counselor in the Montgomery Alabama Stake presidency. He was called as president of the stake in 1986.
After he was released as stake president in 1994, he served the next 12 years as a counselor to four presidents of the Alabama Birmingham Mission: Eldon McKell, Perry Webb, Jerry Peterson and Douglas Johnson.
Brother and Sister Enslen served as senior missionaries in Cambodia from 2007-2008. With the assistance of four young elders and the sustaining support of mission president Robert W. Winegar, they opened a new branch of the Church in Siem Reap, Cambodia, with Brother Enslen serving as the branch president.
A subsequent tour of missionary service, 2009-2010, fit well with Brother Enslen's avid journal-keeping propensities. He has not missed a day of making journal entries since beginning a personal journal on Aug. 18, 1976. He and Sister Enslen labored in the newly opened Church History Library in Salt Lake City, taking oral histories from emeritus General Authorities and others. He serves on the stake high council and Sister Enslen is a counselor in the stake Relief Society presidency.
"I am a total newcomer to politics," Brother Enslen said. "I decided to seek the office about a year prior to the primary election. I had serious concerns about our nation's future and simply wanted to make my little contribution where I felt I was best qualified to serve in our government.
Photo by Barry Chrietzberg
During his last ten years of law practice, John E. Enslen won 13 of 14 cases he argued in the appellate courts of Alabama.
He said his personal choice of religion spontaneously surfaced as an issue with regularity.
"For better or for worse, that's just the way it is in the South. I was regularly asked questions by individual voters: 'What church do you attend?' 'Are you a Christian?' 'What are your religious beliefs?'
"My intentional compound-sentence answer usually went something like this: 'I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am so grateful for the amazing grace of Jesus Christ who has provided me with my only opportunity to be cleansed from my sins so that I can return to live with my Heavenly Father.' That answer, which to the best of my knowledge does not compromise or dilute our canonized beliefs, seemed to satisfy almost everyone who asked a direct question about my religion.
"A high percentage of the voters already knew that I was a Mormon. It is my firm belief that familiarity with Latter-day Saints on a personal level reduces the prejudices resulting from decades upon decades of misinformation. Because so many people knew me well, they could not be persuaded with claims that seemed totally illogical to them."
Preparing to take office in January, Brother Enslen said, "Now that Alabama has its first LDS judge, I feel there is a heavy responsibility to make sure that I pay exclusive attention to the stewardship and not the honor."
— Gerry Avant
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Surgery next week...
I've been so sick lately with my gall bladder. It is chop full of stones and it is hurting me and making me so sick. I almost had Bryant take me to the ER three times over this weekend because I was in so much pain...especially in my chest. I really should be feeling better since I am getting my infusions now, but I can't because of my dadgum gall bladder.
I met with the surgeon on the 15th. He had me do an ultrasound last week and I went in to his office today and he said we need to go ahead and take it out...Hallelujah! I am scheduled for surgery next Monday morning at 6 a.m. I'm trying to hang in there til then. Once I get my gall bladder out, I need to wait a few weeks and have my foot operated on. Then maybe I can start enjoying the results of my infusions and start feeling better.:-)
I met with the surgeon on the 15th. He had me do an ultrasound last week and I went in to his office today and he said we need to go ahead and take it out...Hallelujah! I am scheduled for surgery next Monday morning at 6 a.m. I'm trying to hang in there til then. Once I get my gall bladder out, I need to wait a few weeks and have my foot operated on. Then maybe I can start enjoying the results of my infusions and start feeling better.:-)
Dear Sadie,
Today you said something really funny. You were just counting the members of your family on your fingers. The first person you named was your brother. I asked you who your brother was and you matter of factly told me it was your dad. You think you have a brother-dad. I don't blame you for thinking that. Your daddy is so much fun. No wonder you think he's your brother.
That reminds me that your grandaddy, grandmama, and Uncle Joe just left early this morning. Your grandaddy tried to get you to ride on his back, but you wouldn't do it. I guess you only like to ride on your brother-dad's back.
Also, a couple of days ago you said the funniest thing. You have been talking on the pretend phone a lot lately. You have make believe conversations with your friends about all sorts of things. One night last week you were talking on the pretend phone with one of your friends, and you said, "My daddy is going to get an EVEN BIGGER DRAGON with an EVEN BIGGER BUTT!!!".
Tonight you are going to sleep in your big girl bed...hopefully. Your daddy turned your crib into a toddler bed.
That reminds me that your grandaddy, grandmama, and Uncle Joe just left early this morning. Your grandaddy tried to get you to ride on his back, but you wouldn't do it. I guess you only like to ride on your brother-dad's back.
Also, a couple of days ago you said the funniest thing. You have been talking on the pretend phone a lot lately. You have make believe conversations with your friends about all sorts of things. One night last week you were talking on the pretend phone with one of your friends, and you said, "My daddy is going to get an EVEN BIGGER DRAGON with an EVEN BIGGER BUTT!!!".
Tonight you are going to sleep in your big girl bed...hopefully. Your daddy turned your crib into a toddler bed.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving from Sadie and Easton!
Highlights of Thanksgiving 2012...
Mama's mashed potatoes
Mama sweeping and mopping my floors
My Kentucky Derby Pie
Daddy's Sweet Potato Pie
Just having Mama, Daddy, and Joe here
Having the Payne family over for Thanksgiving lunch
Sibley and Tylee playing
Sadie and Easton holding hands and riding the tricycle
Sibley playing house with Sadie
Daddy holding Mama Kitty
Bryant's fashion show
Sadie making up words and sign language signals so she could speak in sign language like Easton
Mama's mashed potatoes
Mama sweeping and mopping my floors
My Kentucky Derby Pie
Daddy's Sweet Potato Pie
Just having Mama, Daddy, and Joe here
Having the Payne family over for Thanksgiving lunch
Sibley and Tylee playing
Sadie and Easton holding hands and riding the tricycle
Sibley playing house with Sadie
Daddy holding Mama Kitty
Bryant's fashion show
Sadie making up words and sign language signals so she could speak in sign language like Easton
Good times with the family...
I don't want to forget funny things that happened this week with my family here, so I decided to blog them...
-We were talking about our bucket lists downstairs and we thought daddy had gone to bed. Then all the sudden we heard him yell, "I want to win American Idol!".
-He called me and Bryant "dumb***es on your androids."
-He told Skyler "Mi casa - nachos." And he threw his head back and laughed hard at himself.
-We were talking about our bucket lists downstairs and we thought daddy had gone to bed. Then all the sudden we heard him yell, "I want to win American Idol!".
-He called me and Bryant "dumb***es on your androids."
-He told Skyler "Mi casa - nachos." And he threw his head back and laughed hard at himself.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Nurse Sadie Lou
A Hoot Owl
Last night I was telling a friend of mine a story about when a Hoot Owl scared Skyler outside on my parent's farm one night. She thought it was so funny that I called it a "Hoot Owl." I guess she thought I called every owl a "Hoot Owl" because they all hoot. Well, that's just silly! There really is such a thing as a Hoot Owl and my daddy can do a darn good impersonation. Also, Southern people are superstitious about owls, or at least they used to be...
In the Southern states of America an old traditional rhyme tells of the cry of the owl:
In the Southern states of America an old traditional rhyme tells of the cry of the owl:
'When you hear the screech owl,
honey, in the sweet gum tree,
It's a sign as sure as you're born a death is bound to be;
Unless you put the shovel in the fire mighty quick,
For to conjure that old screech owl, take care the one that's sick.'
It's a sign as sure as you're born a death is bound to be;
Unless you put the shovel in the fire mighty quick,
For to conjure that old screech owl, take care the one that's sick.'
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Dear Sadie,
I know I just did a "Dear Sadie" yesterday, but today you said three really funny things, so I need to put them on the blog before I forget them.
1. You told your Daddy his belly was big like Grandpa's.
2. I turned to Bryant and said, "Today we have a lot to do." Then you said, "Mom, you just called daddy 'today.' His name's not today! His name's Dad!".
3. This morning your daddy told you not to do something again, or it would make him very angry. You said, "You not get angry with me! You angry birds!". [You have watched him play Angry Birds on his phone.]
1. You told your Daddy his belly was big like Grandpa's.
2. I turned to Bryant and said, "Today we have a lot to do." Then you said, "Mom, you just called daddy 'today.' His name's not today! His name's Dad!".
3. This morning your daddy told you not to do something again, or it would make him very angry. You said, "You not get angry with me! You angry birds!". [You have watched him play Angry Birds on his phone.]
Monday, November 12, 2012
Dear Sadie,
You fell asleep yesterday and you looked so sweet that I just had to take this picture.
I can't believe how fast you are growing up. The other day you and Skyler fell asleep together on the couch and I couldn't believe how much y'all looked alike. I should have taken a picture, but I didn't want to wake y'all up since you are both such light sleepers.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
My Teeth
Afew years ago my teeth started bothering me really badly. I hadn't been diagnosed yet, so I didn't make the connection. Last year I had to get a root canal in one of my molars. It was not a pleasant experience and I hoped to avoid any root canals in the future. Oh well. I brush and floss every day, but last time I was in the dentist, the hygenist said it looked like I didn't. I told her it was probably a result of the autoimmune disease and she agreed. I also told her I was having sensitivity in a few of the teeth next to the one I had the root canal on last year. She said it looked okay.
Well, the sensitivity has been getting progressively worse. I have been on an antibiotic for the past three months and I think that actually slowed the infection some. When I was on Cipro for the first two months, my teeth didn't hurt as bad, but since I switched to double strength Bactrim two weeks ago, my teeth pain has gotten unbearable. I called my dentist Thursday and he called me back yesterday. I told him the situation and he agreed with me, that I probably need more root canals and that my teeth problems are another casualty of my CVID. He gave me the name and number of an endodontist. I am trying to hang in there until Tuesday when the endodontist opens, but my teeth ache something awful.
As always, I asked my CVID facebook support group about it and they gave me lots of feedback and helpful information. They even gave me a link to an article explaining the impact CVID has on one's teeth. I just printed it out and plan to give it to the endodontist next week. Because my disease is so rare, I wanted to have some info to give the endodontist just in case he has never had a CVID patient before. I am trying to save my teeth by getting a root canal before they actually fall out, which is what has happened to a lot of my CVID compatriots. I am not ready to be toothless at 35 years old.
Well, the sensitivity has been getting progressively worse. I have been on an antibiotic for the past three months and I think that actually slowed the infection some. When I was on Cipro for the first two months, my teeth didn't hurt as bad, but since I switched to double strength Bactrim two weeks ago, my teeth pain has gotten unbearable. I called my dentist Thursday and he called me back yesterday. I told him the situation and he agreed with me, that I probably need more root canals and that my teeth problems are another casualty of my CVID. He gave me the name and number of an endodontist. I am trying to hang in there until Tuesday when the endodontist opens, but my teeth ache something awful.
As always, I asked my CVID facebook support group about it and they gave me lots of feedback and helpful information. They even gave me a link to an article explaining the impact CVID has on one's teeth. I just printed it out and plan to give it to the endodontist next week. Because my disease is so rare, I wanted to have some info to give the endodontist just in case he has never had a CVID patient before. I am trying to save my teeth by getting a root canal before they actually fall out, which is what has happened to a lot of my CVID compatriots. I am not ready to be toothless at 35 years old.
My first infusion
We ended up having to move my first infusion back a day, so I went in yesterday. I was so excited. Everything went really well. The infusion itself only took about an hour, but we were at the home healthcare office for about three hours so that she could show us how to do everything and so that I could sign all the paperwork. It was a little overwhelming to me. There are a lot of steps and since I am so prone to infection, I have to be super-duper careful about sterilization. But Bryant picks things up faster than anyone I've ever seen, so I feel confident I can do the infusions at home if he helps me. We decided we have to wait until Sadie Lou is asleep to do the infusions because she will want to get into all the fun tubing, bandages, etc. The nurses are going to come to my house next week and the week after or until I am sure I can do things by myself.
I asked the nurse how much the infusions cost and she said roughly $6,000 a month. My insurance pays 100%. I have no copays and no deductibles. I am so fortunate. Bryant and I were talking about how blessed we are on the hour long drive home.
The needles are very small and they didn't hurt at all, but the infusion stung just a little when it started going into my leg. The IgG solution stays right under the skin for a while and swells up into a mound. So when it was finished, I had two big mounds on the side of my thigh. She said it would take a day or two for the mounds to go down. My thigh is just a little sore this morning.
She told me I would have a headache and boy did I! I had probably the worst migrane of my life. I usually only get migranes when I'm pregnant, so I was hoping to escape the infusion without the headache, but my body had other plans. I got a little headache right when the infusion started and I had a little honeymoon period where I thought, "This isn't so bad. I can handle this - no problem." But it got worse and worse, no matter what I took for it. My friend Michelle came over and kept me company and helped me until I went to bed. Michelle's husband is very ill with MS, so I always feel like she can truly sympathize with our family.
I woke up this morning feeling much better! I'm ready to enjoy the beautiful, high of 63, cool "Winter" day in Arizona.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Progress!!!
The home healthcare company that will handle my Immunoglobulin infusions called me today and told me they got the referral from my Immunologist's office and that they are working on my case! Hallelujah! Seriously, I am thanking God. I'm just praying for the strength and patience to hang in there for a little while longer. I think I can...I think I can...
Friday, November 2, 2012
Darkest before dawn...
Some days it is TOO hard to be a sick mama. I woke up this morning so sick, literally feeling like I am dying. My kidneys hurt. My forehead feels like a somebody just split it wide open. My sinus bones really feel like they are cracking underneath my skin. My ears ache so deep and my teeth and gums are getting worse and worse, no matter how many times a day I brush and floss. My arm bones and fingers ache so badly that sometimes the only relief I can get is if I bandage them up so tight that the circulation is cut off. My spleen is so swollen that my left ribcage feels like it's going to explode and sends shooting pain in my left shoulder and into my left neck. I could go on and on moaning and griping, but it won't do me a bit of good. It won't get my treatments started any sooner or solve any of my problems, except maybe make my thoughts not quite so heavy.
I hate Bryant's schedule. He works four days a week for ten hours a day. One of those days is Saturday, so we can't do anything fun as a family on Saturday. I miss him. We miss him. We never see him. It is hard for me to take care of Sadie all day long, especially on days like today. I get up and feel like hell and think to myself, "There is no way I can drive anywhere or get anything done today and I honestly don't know how I'm going to take care of Sadie. Once again, the poor child will probably end up watching TV all day." But there's nothing in the fridge and nothing in the pantry, and my blood sugar is getting lower and lower, and I'm getting sicker and sicker, so I HAVE to go out. And I have to take care of Sadie ALL day. And sometimes I need a nap or at least just to sit and rest, but she of course doesn't allow that.
Some days I wish so badly that I lived in Alabama and had family, people to help me, and people to watch Sadie, and cousins for Sadie to play with. And a mother tells me about her sick daughter, who is my age, that she helps several days a week. And I struggle just to get the dishes done every two or three days, or to do enough laundry once every 10 days to keep the girls in clean school clothes. My family hardly knows what to do anymore if I cook a meal. It's sad to see how excited they get when they come home and smell something in the oven. My toilets are moldy. My disposal stinks. My floors are dirty. My furniture, blinds, and fans need dusting. My playroom looks like a bomb went off in the middle of it. My bathtub hasn't been cleaned since I don't know when. I can't remember the last time I washed the girls' sheets.
Bryant can't help. He's exhausted when he gets home after working a ten hour day. And he already does way more than any husband/father should have to, not to mention he is working so that he can pay our insurance premium and the additional several hundred dollars worth of copays for medicine and doctors' visits that I have every month. It seems like every time he gets a raise, I get a new disease and need a new specialist doctor and a new prescription or two. I need to be working. We need my income, but I am too sick to do it. I applied for disability, but they said I didn't work long enough. Well, yeah, I didn't work for the last five years because I was SICK!
And it's not like I can ask Skyler to help all the time. Skyler is sick too. She's tired and hardly ever feels good either. And Sibley can only do so much. Sometimes she can keep Sadie busy enough for long enough for me to get something done, or at least keep Sadie busy enough not to make the huge, ginormous, constant messes.
Some days it is too much, and I just can't handle it. Don't get me wrong. I know I have blessings to count. At least I do have good medical insurance, because if I didn't, we would literally be bankrupt and/or I would be dead. And at least I have a husband that tries SO hard and wants to help me. And at least I'm not a military wife, whose husband leaves for months on end. And at least I have three sweet girls, even if they are messy. And Sadie IS a true miracle baby, not only because she is a fertility baby, but also because she is healthy despite all the drugs I had to take and all the things I went through when I was pregnant with her. And at least I have friends here that try to help me, even though I feel so guilty and like such a mooch, since I can NEVER help them. And at least I got to get a break and go to Florida and relax for a week. And at least I went to a good, new Immunologist this week and he immediately ordered infusions for me...Now, if I can just hang in there for a few more days until my insurance gives the go-ahead for my $30,000+/year treatments, I will be OKAY...I hope. And at least my family, or three members if it, are coming out here to be with me for Thanksgiving, so I won't get homesick.
But sometimes I need to get it all out, to write the way I feel, because that makes me "feel" better.
I hate Bryant's schedule. He works four days a week for ten hours a day. One of those days is Saturday, so we can't do anything fun as a family on Saturday. I miss him. We miss him. We never see him. It is hard for me to take care of Sadie all day long, especially on days like today. I get up and feel like hell and think to myself, "There is no way I can drive anywhere or get anything done today and I honestly don't know how I'm going to take care of Sadie. Once again, the poor child will probably end up watching TV all day." But there's nothing in the fridge and nothing in the pantry, and my blood sugar is getting lower and lower, and I'm getting sicker and sicker, so I HAVE to go out. And I have to take care of Sadie ALL day. And sometimes I need a nap or at least just to sit and rest, but she of course doesn't allow that.
Some days I wish so badly that I lived in Alabama and had family, people to help me, and people to watch Sadie, and cousins for Sadie to play with. And a mother tells me about her sick daughter, who is my age, that she helps several days a week. And I struggle just to get the dishes done every two or three days, or to do enough laundry once every 10 days to keep the girls in clean school clothes. My family hardly knows what to do anymore if I cook a meal. It's sad to see how excited they get when they come home and smell something in the oven. My toilets are moldy. My disposal stinks. My floors are dirty. My furniture, blinds, and fans need dusting. My playroom looks like a bomb went off in the middle of it. My bathtub hasn't been cleaned since I don't know when. I can't remember the last time I washed the girls' sheets.
Bryant can't help. He's exhausted when he gets home after working a ten hour day. And he already does way more than any husband/father should have to, not to mention he is working so that he can pay our insurance premium and the additional several hundred dollars worth of copays for medicine and doctors' visits that I have every month. It seems like every time he gets a raise, I get a new disease and need a new specialist doctor and a new prescription or two. I need to be working. We need my income, but I am too sick to do it. I applied for disability, but they said I didn't work long enough. Well, yeah, I didn't work for the last five years because I was SICK!
And it's not like I can ask Skyler to help all the time. Skyler is sick too. She's tired and hardly ever feels good either. And Sibley can only do so much. Sometimes she can keep Sadie busy enough for long enough for me to get something done, or at least keep Sadie busy enough not to make the huge, ginormous, constant messes.
Some days it is too much, and I just can't handle it. Don't get me wrong. I know I have blessings to count. At least I do have good medical insurance, because if I didn't, we would literally be bankrupt and/or I would be dead. And at least I have a husband that tries SO hard and wants to help me. And at least I'm not a military wife, whose husband leaves for months on end. And at least I have three sweet girls, even if they are messy. And Sadie IS a true miracle baby, not only because she is a fertility baby, but also because she is healthy despite all the drugs I had to take and all the things I went through when I was pregnant with her. And at least I have friends here that try to help me, even though I feel so guilty and like such a mooch, since I can NEVER help them. And at least I got to get a break and go to Florida and relax for a week. And at least I went to a good, new Immunologist this week and he immediately ordered infusions for me...Now, if I can just hang in there for a few more days until my insurance gives the go-ahead for my $30,000+/year treatments, I will be OKAY...I hope. And at least my family, or three members if it, are coming out here to be with me for Thanksgiving, so I won't get homesick.
But sometimes I need to get it all out, to write the way I feel, because that makes me "feel" better.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Dear Sadie,
I know I just did a "Dear Sadie" yesterday, but you did some really cute stuff today, so I need to do another one.
-On Saturday you saw a picture in the Ensign and you said, "There's Jesus." And then you said, "Jesus loves me." So I know you've been listening in Sunbeams. When we get home from church on Sundays, you always ask to go back to church.
-This morning you found your princess potty seat and you were so excited! You showed me and Daddy and you said, "Look! I found my potty train! I found my potty train!".
-Tonight at dinner you wanted to give the prayer. This was your first prayer at mealtime. Sibley tried to help you and you yelled at her that you wanted to do it yourself. Then everybody got reverent and bowed their heads, including you. And you just sat there without saying anything, so Sibley started whispering words to you. You whispered what she said so softly that we could barely understand you. Then at the end when she told you, "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen," you said "My name is Jesus Christ, Amen."
-On Saturday you saw a picture in the Ensign and you said, "There's Jesus." And then you said, "Jesus loves me." So I know you've been listening in Sunbeams. When we get home from church on Sundays, you always ask to go back to church.
-This morning you found your princess potty seat and you were so excited! You showed me and Daddy and you said, "Look! I found my potty train! I found my potty train!".
-Tonight at dinner you wanted to give the prayer. This was your first prayer at mealtime. Sibley tried to help you and you yelled at her that you wanted to do it yourself. Then everybody got reverent and bowed their heads, including you. And you just sat there without saying anything, so Sibley started whispering words to you. You whispered what she said so softly that we could barely understand you. Then at the end when she told you, "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen," you said "My name is Jesus Christ, Amen."
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Dear Sadie,
You insist on picking out your own ensembles these days. You're cutting a molar right now, so I have to pick my battles. I get your train of thought, though. Stripes match stripes, right?
Thursday, October 18, 2012
My fun trip to Florida...
The first day, night, and day were so sad. I missed Bryant and the girls so badly that I actually checked on plane ticket prices to go back home early. But I got a good night's rest and the next 5 days were a blast!!! We had so much fun. We mainly ate. Mary Jo is pregnant and I LOVE to eat, so we were a perfect pair! It was my dream vacation! (She is four months pregnant, and doesn't even look pregnant at all. I'm not pregnant, and I look more pregnant than she does! I kept calling her my blond bombshell bff.)
Wednesday we went to the beach and that evening we went to eat at Houston's.
On Thursday I felt horrible. I was exhausted and every bone in my body hurt from the plane ride. We just chilled out that day and watched the debate that evening. She cooked a delicious Cuban meal for dinner.
Friday we went to Las Olas Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale and pigged out at the Royal Pig Pub for lunch.
We went out on the boat Saturday. We anchored at Hillsboro Beach, by the lighthouse, and had a nice, relaxing day. And we ate at Houston's again Saturday night. Hey- if it aint broke, why fix it?
We went to Miami on Sunday. We ate at Yardbird Southern Restaurant for our first lunch, and at the Standard for our second lunch. We did a lot of walking on Lincoln Road in the mean time. We also checked out the Delano. I loved the glamorous old homes in Miami.
On Monday, we rented a cabana on the beach and chilled out for a few hours before I had to leave. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I was just having too much fun. It was a very relaxing vacation. I felt pretty good the whole time because I doubled up on my antibiotics while I was there. Also, Mary Jo eats very healthy...only organic, and I could tell a difference while I was there. I'm going to try and start eating and cooking healthier around here.
I had so much fun that I am planning on bringing the girls back with me next Fall Break! And I got Skyler a babysitting job in Bimini, Bahamas with the Dettors this summer. She's pretty excited. Mary Jo's son, Trimmer, is such a sweet boy. Skyler will have a great time babysitting him. I miss him. I miss all of the Dettors. Bryant, thanks for the best birthday present ever!
Wednesday we went to the beach and that evening we went to eat at Houston's.
On Thursday I felt horrible. I was exhausted and every bone in my body hurt from the plane ride. We just chilled out that day and watched the debate that evening. She cooked a delicious Cuban meal for dinner.
Friday we went to Las Olas Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale and pigged out at the Royal Pig Pub for lunch.
We went to Miami on Sunday. We ate at Yardbird Southern Restaurant for our first lunch, and at the Standard for our second lunch. We did a lot of walking on Lincoln Road in the mean time. We also checked out the Delano. I loved the glamorous old homes in Miami.
On Monday, we rented a cabana on the beach and chilled out for a few hours before I had to leave. I wish I would have taken more pictures, but I was just having too much fun. It was a very relaxing vacation. I felt pretty good the whole time because I doubled up on my antibiotics while I was there. Also, Mary Jo eats very healthy...only organic, and I could tell a difference while I was there. I'm going to try and start eating and cooking healthier around here.
I had so much fun that I am planning on bringing the girls back with me next Fall Break! And I got Skyler a babysitting job in Bimini, Bahamas with the Dettors this summer. She's pretty excited. Mary Jo's son, Trimmer, is such a sweet boy. Skyler will have a great time babysitting him. I miss him. I miss all of the Dettors. Bryant, thanks for the best birthday present ever!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
