Men are governed by lines of intellect- women: by curves of emotion.

--James Joyce

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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sadie's new favorite spot
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Daddy's Mormon Times Article (good stuff)

The story of the woman who penned 'As Sisters in Zion' lyrics
Author: John Enslen See all from this author
15 March 2011 6:30am
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On Aug. 2, 1856, some residents of a small Iowa town approached two young women who were traveling with the Willie Handcart Company. The two young women were the Hill sisters, ages 20 and 23. The younger of the two was named Emily.

The townspeople attempted to entice these attractive young women away from the company, using written messages that they delivered to the two sisters. Their messages promised all of the comforts and conveniences that life had to offer if they would simply abandon their trek to Zion.

Notwithstanding they were worn and weary from their 4,000 miles of travel over the past three months, which began in Liverpool, England, they resisted.

On Oct. 19, 1856, Joseph A. Young was the first rescuer to reach the Willie Handcart Company. Young had been a missionary in England and had known Emily there. Eventually recognizing that the starved figure with a gaunt face standing before him was Emily, Young burst into tears. He gave Emily an onion from his pocket and told her to eat it. Instead, she saved it and unselfishly gave it to a man, near death, lying on the ground by a fire. This man credited Emily’s act of kindness with saving his life.

Emily Hill later authored a poem which became the words to the beloved LDS hymn “As Sisters In Zion.”

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Quick Update (as per your request, Jeni Ennis)

First, let me say thank y'all. Thank y'all for your sweet comments. Thank y'all for taking the time to read my blog, and send me well wishes, and pray for me when y'all have so much to do and so many of your own issues to deal with. What can I say? I am blessed.

The doctor's visit went well. The PA came in first and interviewed me. Of course, it took me like an hour to go through everything that has happened over the last three and a half years. But she listened, typed, thought, asked questions, scanned in my pictures and lab results, and then went and talked with the doctor.

So the doctor came in and said, "It looks like you're falling apart." I said, "Yes! I am falling apart." He looked at my skin really well and asked me more questions, and I asked him questions too. He ordered several tests. Some of them I took today and some of them I have to go back later this week and next week to do. Then, we have an appointment to go over everything on the 13th.

I think that he thinks it is my thyroid that is causing the Cushing's. He, his PA, and my old endocrinologist have all grilled me about thyroid cancer, i.e. Does any one in your family have thyroid cancer? Are you sure you don't have a family history of thyroid cancer? Have you ever been exposed to high amounts of radiation? Has your thyroid ever been biopsied?, etc. Of course, my answer to all of these questions is no. At any rate, I still think it is a lung tumor, but we shall all have a definitive answer soon. He is older and wiser, and I THINK I MIGHT just trust him. To be continued...

Monday, March 28, 2011

Who needs a walker?

Sadie has recently taken to pushing her high chair around the house to practice walking. (I know our carpet is disgusting. We will be ripping it up and putting hardwood floor down as soon as we are done replacing the kitchen appliances, so don't judge, okay?)

On a side note, tomorrow can't come soon enough. I have a 9:40 appointment in Scottsdale with a new endocrinologist. I'm hoping he's the one, the one that can and will finally help me. I know I have pneumonia again, if it ever went away, and my heart acts up more and more every day. I have to admit, I'm barely functioning anymore. I'll give y'all an update tomorrow, hopefully a good one!

Skyler's Spring Band Concert




Skyler, (as always) were so proud of you!

Friday, March 25, 2011

The phantom tumor has eluded us once again...

My MRI results are normal. The good news is no brain surgery. The bad news is that we still don't know where the ACTH producing tumor is. (ACTH stands for Adrenocorticotropic hormone, which is the hormone that tells your body to make cortisol.) Pretty much, by the process of elimination, I've determined that it has to be in my lungs. Lung ACTH producing tumors are the rarest of the rare. Around 70% of Cushing's disease is caused by a pituitary tumor; 23% by an adrenal tumor; and 7% by a lung tumor.

Another reason I'm leaning toward a lung tumor is that in all of my millions of CT scans over the last three and a half years, there have been remarks about my lungs. In 2008, the conclusion of one of my CT scans is that "There is a densely calcified granuloma in the right lower lobe and another in the left lower lobe." Then, my recent chest x-ray showed, "There is a 1 cm spiculated appearing infiltrate peripherally in the right upper lobe overlying the scapula between the fifth and sixth ribs. 9 mm granuloma is noted in the right middle lobe." My latest CT scan showed, "There are 3 calcified granulomata at the left lung base and there is a 9 mm calcified nodule in the right lower lobe indicating old granulomatous disease."

I have learned that a "spiculated" shape in the lungs usually indicates cancerous growth. I have also learned that ACTH producing cancerous tumors are usually in the middle lobes. I didn't know when I was reading this earlier if all of these findings were due to the pneumonia or if they were the cause of the pneumonia. Now I'm leaning toward them being the cause. Also, lung cancer runs in my family. My grandfather and his brother both died of lung cancer, and neither of them smoked.

The treatment for ACTH producing lung carcinoids is surgical removal. And I know that, if the tumor/tumors is cancerous, then it hasn't metastisized, because if it had it would show up in my CT scans. ACTH producing lung carcinoids are usually very small and slow growing. So I am anxiously awaiting my Tuesday appointment with the new endocrinoligist. You'd better believe I have all my ducks in a row. I have lab results, CT scans, MRI, chest x-rays, pictures of myself, etc. all printed out and tucked neatly into a notebook. Also, Bryant started his new job with SRP today, so I now have great insurance - no more waiting for test approvals. I'm hoping after Tuesday things will move really fast. As always, I'll keep you updated. Thank you for your comments and concern. I consider myself a very fortunate person to count you among my friends and family members.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Happy First Birthday, Sadie Lou!



















Thank you, friends, for celebrating with us!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

One doctor down, a whole bunch to go...

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
-William Congreve, 1697

Dear Dr. Winter,

You may not remember me, but I came in to your Emergency Room a few weeks ago with high blood pressure, flank pain, and a urinary tract infection. I told you I thought I had Cushing’s disease. You smirked, tried to hold back your laughter, and may have even rolled your eyes a couple of times. You examined me and condescendingly said, “I have worked with advanced Cushing’s patients, and you DO NOT have Cushing’s disease.” I showed you my buffalo hump and you dismissed it and said it wasn’t there. I told you I had gained 60 lbs. over the last three years, and you said it was probably due to my thyroid. You also said that I didn’t have the “moon face.”

Boy, were you wrong! Here’s a copy of my urinary free cortisol lab report to demonstrate to you just how incorrect you were. Perhaps this will motivate you to better listen to your patients and give them more credibility in the future when it comes to knowing their own bodies better than you do.

Sincerely,
Jessica Slade

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Correction

I went to two doctor appointments today. The first one was with my ob/gyn and friend. She told me that my urinary free cortisol was actually over 2,000, and the norm is between 4 and 50. She ordered an MRI of my brain to look for a pituitary tumor and I scheduled it for next week.

Next I went to the Endocrinologist office, and my doctor and another doctor asked me all sorts of questions and tried to figure me out. She said she had never seen anything like me, that she knows that something is really wrong, but she doesn't think she's qualified to help me, and that she knows someone who can. She has never seen lab results like mine before. She is sending me to an endocrinologist in Scottsdale. She's puzzled as to why my urine cortisol is so high, and my blood testosterone and DHEA are so high, but my blood cortisol is still within normal range.

It was gratifying to hear a doctor say that she knows I am really sick with Cushing's. And it was refreshing to hear her acknowledge that she wasn't qualified to deal with my case, instead of giving me another incorrect diagnosis and another quick fix solution to my long term problem. Also, your comments are invigorating! Thank you for your concern and keep them coming.

P.S. People with cortisol levels in my range are prone to hallucinations and psychotic episodes. So there's my excuse for acting wierd lately.;-) Seriously though, I am starting to worry because my heart has really been acting up. It flutters and hurts sometimes and I feel so dizzy. Today I felt like I was on a rocking boat throughout the day. I'm worried for Bryant to go back to work next week, but thankful that he was able to get a good job in this economy, especially one with good insurance!

Enjoying a birthday lunch for Sadie at the Olive Garden
CB#: 4802270902
She is so funny because she would much rather socialize than eat. She pretty much stayed turned around in her high chair the whole entire time, waving and saying "hey" to everyone.

Sometimes she is friendly to people I wish she wouldn't be friendly to, like the other day when we were at the doctor's office and a crazy man came in. I was trying to avoid eye contact and she was waving at him and saying "hey." What can I say? She doesn't judge.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Good News and The Bad News

The good news is that the CT scan showed no tumor in my adrenal gland, which means no cancer. The bad news is that the good news means that the tumor is in my pituitary gland, so I will more than likely need brain surgery. But at least I have gotten the ball rolling and we are making some progress. And I'd much rather have just Cushing's than Cushing's and Adrenal Cancer. Cushing's is cureable, whereas Adrenal Cancer is pretty much a death sentence.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The "C" Word

I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week. I went from being elated to find out I was right on Monday to being angry that I've felt so bad for so long and gotten old, ugly, and fat before my time, to now being worried sick about cancer. Sometimes tumors of the adrenal gland are cancerous (adrenal cortical carcinoma), and when they are, they produce extra hormones, like DHEA, testosterone, and cortisol. Sound familiar? So, I either have Cushing's Disease or Cushing's Disease AND cancer. Either way, recovery is going to be a hard row to hoe.

The good news is that Adrenal Cancer is super rare, but then again so is Cushing's. The bad news is that if the tumor is large enough for the patient to feel pain from it, then it is usually cancerous, has metastasized, and is putting pressure on other organs. My CT scan was moved up to tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping to know something early next week.

Then again, I hope they just find SOMETHING. If there is nothing abnormal looking about my adrenal glands, then I'll be fightin' mad, wondering why my sides and back have hurt me for so long and where the in sane amounts of cortisol, DHEA, and testosterone are coming from. But alas, my head is bloody but unbowed. I have never been one to back down from a fight, so I won't start backin' down now. I'm just tired of waiting to find out who my opponent is.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Aha! Validation...

I was right! It looks like I DO have Cushing's. I got my urine cortisol test results back today and my cortisol is incredibly high. The normal range is between 20 and 50 and mine is 230. I have a CT scan scheduled for next Monday. I am thinking of just going on over to the Mayo Clinic if they find a tumor on my adrenal glands. The Mayo Clinic is in Scottsdale.

I still can't believe it. I keep thinking the results can't be right. It is just hard for me to believe that, finally, after three and a half years of getting sicker and sicker and having doctors think I'm crazier and crazier, I finally have proof. It's too bad I had to diagnose myself. Thanks for your encouragement!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Dear Sadie,

Yesterday you took your first steps. You also managed to have a huge blowout and get poop on your clothes and the carpet. While I was changing your overflowing diaper, you barfed all over yourself and the couch pillow you were laying on. I gave you a bath and got you all clean, but then I had to take you outside with me and my boy scouts and you got filthy again and tried to eat a few rocks. You had a very busy day. Your vocabulary is expanding. Here are your favorite words:
Nite Nite pee (your pacifier) baby (when you look in the mirror or see another baby anywhere) Dada (Yesterday morning you were in the doctor's office waiting room with me and every time someone opened the door, you said "Dada" and looked to see if that was him coming in to the room.) Hey (You always say "hey" after I answer the phone and say "hello.")